Christmas isn’t Christmas without terrible, terrible presents.  Or at least terrible presents “as seen on TV.” You could just buy your friends’ gifts from TV, or the local CVS Pharmacy, but that would be too easy.  You are a hand-knitter.  You over-complicate projects.  You spend too much time thinking about things that normal people don’t even know exist.  You make things difficult for yourself.

Let’s knit bad TV-infomercial gifts.

You could give your father an always-classy Christmas tie.

Or, you could knit him a super fabulous seed stitch one. (Knit Necktie by Lion Brand Yarn)

How about the perennial classic, Chia Pet (which I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen in real life, and I honestly kind of want)?Or, you could transform a stuffed animal into a Chia Pet like this poor, scared-looking slug.And, of course, there’s always the epitome of laziness/the most genius invention ever (that I would totally wear the hell out of if I had one):  The Snuggie.But why wrap yourself in polyester fleece from the drug store, when you could be wrapped in knitted woolen comfort? (Wrap-ghan (knit) FP5826 by Bernat Design Studio)And, don’t forget Barbie.  Because after hours of princess-ing/veterinarian-ing/lounging by the pool/whatever else Barbie does these days, there’s nothing Barbie wants to do more than curl up on her hard plastic furniture in a pink Snuggie. (Fashion Doll Snuggle Up with Sleeves by Marianne Forrestal)