Inspiration: The Dreaded Christmas Sweater

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You’ve got to love a holiday that comes with its own genre of knitwear. Unfortunately, Christmas Sweaters have gotten a bad rap, and now the only times you see them are either:

On your Great Aunt Muriel.
On the receptionist at your middle school. The one with the big glasses and puffy, permed hair.
At ugly sweater parties.

Not fair, I say!

Let’s take a look at some Christmas Sweaters that aren’t that bad.

Not a traditional Christmas Sweater, but totally adorable. And, I’m sure, super toasty for walks over the river and through the snow.

Boreal by Kate Davies

A 1950s-inspired shape with adorable little reindeer and a neat triangle pattern on the front.

The Perfect Christmas Jumper by Susan Crawford

OK, so this one is definitely Christmas-y. But, look, you can choose between plum pudding, snowmen, and Christmas Pigs! (All right, they’re probably supposed to be reindeer, but with their little pink noses, they totally look like pigs. I suppose you could change their antlers into little pointy ears if you wanted to really run with the whole Christmas Pigs angle.)

Love Yarn Christmas Jumper by Fiona Bennet

But, you know what? The Christmas Sweater is so earnest, so self-aware, and so uncaring of what people think of it. The Christmas Sweater knows what it is, and is completely OK with its cheerful tackiness. I can’t let a post about Christmas Sweaters go by without including an actual, honest-to-goodness tacky Christmas Sweater. So here you go:

Patons Christmas Sweaters by Patons UK

WIP Ornaments

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Imagine this: You are going to a party, and you know that there will be a gift-exchange. You don’t have time to go to the store. Also, you’re broke. You know the other guests at the party will all bring crazy-fancy gifts and you don’t want to be shown up. And, did I mention, you leave in fifteen minutes?

I think it’s a time to make WIP Ornaments!

These are super fast, super easy and super cheap (in fact, you probably have everything you need in your craft bin right now).

Get the pattern here:

WIP Ornaments

What to Buy the Knitter Who Has Everything…

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I get this question all the time: “I don’t knit, but my buddy does. What does he want for Christmas?”

My usual response is: “Well, what does he like to make?”

And their answer is usually: “I donno.”

Super. Really helpful.

Obviously, if you know the kind of project that your knitting friend likes to make, get them a gift that speaks to that interest (sock yarn for a sock knitter, lace weight yarn for a lace knitter… this isn’t rocket science).

But, if you really don’t know, here’s my standard answer, because every knitter can find a use for it:

-2 or 3 skeins of NICE medium weight yarn in the recipient’s favorite color, or a color that they wear a lot. (Go to a fancy, independent yarn store, if there’s one in your area. Spend 10 or more dollars per skein. Pick out something pretty and soft. Bonus points if the label says “mohair,” “cashmere,” or “merino”)

And then, if you have extra money burning a hole in your pocket, pick one or more of the following:

-Fancy knitting needles (get the size that is recommended on the yarn’s label)

-Buttons (6 or more in a coordinating color to go with the yarn, no smaller than a half inch, no bigger than an inch and a half. Tiny and gigantic buttons are harder to find a use for.)

-A project bag (These are usually draw-string or zippered fabric bags about the size of a piece of printer paper, and they’re used to carry around half-finished projects. I’ve yet to meet a knitter who has enough project bags, me included) If you sew, might I recommend the Fat Quarter Project Bag?

-A pattern printout or flier that uses the yarn you picked out (but make sure you buy enough yarn to complete the project, if you do this.) Or, a knitting book. Take a few minutes to look through the knitting section at the book store, and pick out one that has patterns that your knitter friend might wear.

-Other fancy notions (decorative stitch markers, fancy scissors, a cute measuring tape, etc. Knitters love pretty things. We’re like magpies.)

Wrap up everything you bought, and be the king (or queen) of Christmas!

Inspiration: Awesomely Bad or Just Plain Awesome Christmas Gifts

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Christmas isn’t Christmas without terrible, terrible presents. Or at least terrible presents “as seen on TV.” You could just buy your friends’ gifts from TV, or the local CVS Pharmacy, but that would be too easy. You are a hand-knitter. You over-complicate projects. You spend too much time thinking about things that normal people don’t even know exist. You make things difficult for yourself.

Let’s knit bad TV-infomercial gifts.

You could give your father an always-classy Christmas tie.

Or, you could knit him a super fabulous seed stitch one. (Knit Necktie by Lion Brand Yarn)

How about the perennial classic, Chia Pet (which I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen in real life, and I honestly kind of want)?Or, you could transform a stuffed animal into a Chia Pet like this poor, scared-looking slug.And, of course, there’s always the epitome of laziness/the most genius invention ever (that I would totally wear the hell out of if I had one): The Snuggie.But why wrap yourself in polyester fleece from the drug store, when you could be wrapped in knitted woolen comfort? (Wrap-ghan (knit) FP5826 by Bernat Design Studio)And, don’t forget Barbie. Because after hours of princess-ing/veterinarian-ing/lounging by the pool/whatever else Barbie does these days, there’s nothing Barbie wants to do more than curl up on her hard plastic furniture in a pink Snuggie. (Fashion Doll Snuggle Up with Sleeves by Marianne Forrestal)

A Super Exciting Post About Yardage and Budgets

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Yarn does not grow on trees (if only… that would be amazing. Scientists: get on that). And there are only so many hours in the day. It’s still relatively early in December, but you are probably starting to feel the pinch. Obviously, knitting big projects takes more time than knitting little projects (because… duh), so banging out a sweater in two weeks (while that would be amazing) is probably not going to happen.

When I want to make someone a knitted gift, my usual go-tos are knitted accessories: hats, mittens/gloves, and scarves. Accessories are always useful, appreciated, don’t usually need to be washed (and potentially ruined), and are small enough that you can finish a project in the time it takes to watch a Sunday marathon of Law & Order.

I’ve undertaken a semi-scientific* study of some of the knitted accessories I have sitting in a box in my closet. I wanted to see about how much yarn I used in each project, but I didn’t want to unravel everything and measure it out (because I’m not a masochist). Instead, I broke out the kitchen scale and weighed each item, which will let me estimate of how much yarn each type of project requires.

After much data collection and number crunching**, here’s what I found out:

A hat uses approximately the same amount of yarn as a pair of mittens. ***

A scarf uses about 2 to 3 times as much yarn as a hat or a pair of mittens.

So, if you’re trying to save money, time, and yarn, try making a gift hat. If you’re feeling generous, how about a nice long scarf?

*Not at all scientific.

**I measured three of each item all knit with worsted-ish yarn (three pairs of mittens, three scarves, three hats) and averaged the weights.

***Note: my mittens were knit at a slightly finer gauge than my hats and scarves. So while they may weighed the same, the mittens used more yardage, and probably took more time to knit up.

December is Gift-cember

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My porch was icy this morning when I went out to the car, and it’s dark by 3:30 in the afternoon. That can mean only one thing: Christmas is coming!

And, if Christmas is coming, then gifts are coming, too. So, I’m going to dedicate the blog from now until Christmas to everything knitting and gift-related.

Here are a couple of topics we’re going to cover, just to get you excited:

-Gifts for people who knit (your mom, your nephew, your great-aunt Phyllis or that dude who knits socks on the train that you take in to work in the morning)

-Knitted gifts for people who don’t knit (but appreciate the work that goes into a pair of mittens. If they won’t appreciate your mittens, then they get a gift card to Amazon.)

-Gift inspiration (Giftspriation? No. That’s too cutesy, even for me.)

-Yarn-related gift wrapping (cooler than it sounds.)

So, slide up a chair, pour yourself a mug of hot apple cider, wrap a blanket around your shoulders (and pull on some wool socks, a hand-knit sweater or two, maybe a hat, and don’t forget the fingerless mitts… I’m cold, can’t you tell?) and get ready for a month-long gift-giving extravaganza!

*If you’re not one for the whole “Christmas” thing, that’s OK too. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all religious on you (although I can’t promise there won’t be a Rudolph or two in the following posts). Everyone gives gifts at some point, or at least gives gifts to themselves from time to time, so you’ll probably (hopefully) be able to find something useful here in December.

Giving Thanks (Better Late than Never)

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I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving weekend, I know I did. I got to go visit my brother and parents down in San Francisco. It’s a pretty cool town, and we got to eat a lot of really great food and walked way way way more than I usually do.

Now, because of my busy weekend, I failed to come up with a plan for today’s post. I’ve always thought that those “What I’m Thankful For” lists that you see on Facebook are kind of dumb, and just used as filler for when you don’t know what else to do.

But I don’t have any good ideas right now, so I suppose it’s as good an idea as any. Here’s what I’m thankful for (in no particular order):

– My awesome family (and especially my husband). They totally enable me in whatever crazy project I decide to try. Want to get a spinning wheel? Awesome. Want to drop a couple hundred bucks on wool and dye, just to “try out this idea I had?” Go for it. Want to take over the living room with dozens of yards of fabric so that I can manufacture project bags for everybody I’ve ever met? Super. They’re amazing.

-My day job. I’ve always been super academically inclined and really into planning and making lists (which is why I ended up going to school until I was 25, and graduating with a Masters in Neuroscience… yeah… that happened.) But, when I left school, I realized that science, while enjoyable, wasn’t what really made me happy. My new job is my first real artsy-fartsy job, where I work in a ceramics studio making custom tiles. I get to play with clay and glaze and fire stuff in the kilns. It’s pretty much the best thing ever, and I totally lucked out in getting it.

-My night job (which sounds shadier than I meant it to), roller derby. I spend about 20 hours a week rollerskating and doing other roller derby-related things, so I consider it a pseudo second job. I don’t get paid (unfortunately), but I enjoy it enough to not worry about that much. And, on top of skating being fun, all my teammates are awesome people, and a great network of friends.

-My other night job (also not shady), my blog! I’ve been working on the blog for almost a year now, and I couldn’t be more pleased with how it’s turning out. I get so excited when I see your comments, and looking at everyone’s finished projects posted on Ravelry makes me smile like a crazy lady. I am constantly thankful for every comment, like, and follower.

But enough sappiness! I’ve got some good stuff planned for December, and I can’t wait until I get it out of my head and onto my computer screen. Happy knitting and happy (late) Thanksgiving!

Mashed Potato Crafting

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I heard one of my friends talking the other day, and she used a term I had never heard before, but totally understood the moment she used it. She was talking about how, when she had a crummy day, she would “watch Monk or Psych or something… you know, one of my mashed potato shows” and immediately feel better. I thought that was a great way to put it. Mashed potatoes are tasty, comforting and easy to digest. They might not be as fancy as a gourmet meal, or as trendy as sushi, or as luxurious as lobster, but they totally will make you feel better after a long day.

“OK,” you’re thinking, “so the girl has a thing for potatoes. What does that have to do with knitting?” After all, you’re here for the crafting, not to hear me natter on about food. My answer to you is: “It has nothing to do with Knitting!” Ha! Fooled you, didn’t I?

Actually, I wanted to give a shout out to my favorite mashed potato craft, counted cross stitch. When I’m stressed, or blue or just feeling lazy, and don’t want to do math, plan a new project, or dig out the right pair of knitting needles, I love to do some counted cross stitch. There’s something comforting about it. It serves no purpose, it doesn’t challenge my brain, and it is so totally easy. It’s like coloring in a coloring book or doing a paint-by-numbers, but with thread.

I’m especially a fan of those little kits you’ll find in the bargain bin at Jo-Ann’s. They’re always dumb stuff, like butterflies, or hearts, or little cutesy sayings, but they’re still fun and silly to make. They give you everything you need (except scissors, because for some reason scissors are never included in kits), so you really and truly don’t have to think. It’s the perfect mashed potato craft.

What is your mashed potato craft?

Pattern Spotlight: The Knitter’s Handy Book of Top-Down Sweaters

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I don’t know if y’all remember my Persistence Sweater (the green one with cabled sleeves) from this summer, but I made it based on a pattern from Ann Budd’s The Knitter’s Handy Book of Top-Down Sweaters. It’s a super cool book if you’re interested in designing your own sweaters, but still want someone to hold your hand a little bit while you do it.

The book is based on the idea of constructing a sweater, starting by casting on at the neck and working your way down the body and arms. This allows you to try on your sweater as you go, to see how it’s fitting, and if you need to change anything while you work. It’s really great, especially if you are a self-doubting, frogging and reknitting knitter like me.

She includes a few complete patterns for sweaters which are pretty, simple, and classic with interesting little details. But, the golden part of this book are the tables. The glorious, glorious tables! I know I’m a bit of a data geek, but, come on. They’re amazing. Pages and pages of really comprehensive, and totally useful tables.

She includes basic outlines on how to do four different shoulder styles, as well as instructions on how to do several different necklines, cardigans and pull-over variations, long sleeves, and short. And everything is written for 15 sizes and at 5 different gauges (that’s where the tables come in-she’s done all the math for you already!).

So, basically she lets you pick out your design elements from her buffet of knitterly goodness, add in a few decorative touches of your own, and before you know it, you’ll have a one-of a kind, custom-designed, hand-knit sweater. Amazing!

Of course, if you’re a brand-new knitter, the charts and tables might be a bit intimidating, but this book is seriously worth taking a look at. (Also, it’s quite a big book, because of all the great tables, so it might be a “knitting at home” project, instead of a traveling one.) If you have a sweater swimming around in your head that you haven’t found a pattern for, give this book a shot, it might be just what you’re looking for.

Inspiration: The League

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I just started watching The League recently. And it’s kind of hilarious.

It’s not so surprising that it’s taken me so long to start watching the League, since it’s a TV show about a bunch of guys playing fantasy football. I know nothing about fantasy football. And almost nothing about football. (That’s the one with the pointy ball, right? Just kidding. I totally knew that.) But you totally don’t have to know anything about football to enjoy this show.

At it’s core, it’s a comedy in the vein of Seinfeld or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It’s a group of friends that hang out a lot and are generally terrible people and do terrible things to one another. It’s a little bro-y, with lots of guy jokes, but it’s still entertaining if you don’t mind that sort of thing.

Anyhoo, I finally made it to season 4, where this happened:

The gag is that one of the characters (in a long-running joke) has the worst taste in clothes of anyone ever in the history of the world. The rest of the gang is trying to get on his good side, so they let him take them shopping. And, well, that leads to these fantastic outfits.

Then, in one of my favorite lines in the show, one of the characters asks Kevin (in the blue shirt) “Where’s the rest of your turtleneck?” when he sees his new scarf. Which I think is hilarious.

Now, I don’t recommend wearing a cowl scarf like Kevin’s with that outfit. But I kind of want to make one for myself. If you want to make a sweater-less turtleneck of your own, try one of these cozy patterns.

GAP-Tastic Cowl by Jen Geigley

My Kind of Town Cowl by Trish Woodson

Climb and Swirl Cowl by Craig Rosenfeld

On the Needles

Knitting isn't so hard… sometimes

Inspiration: The Dreaded Christmas Sweater

WIP Ornaments

What to Buy the Knitter Who Has Everything…

Inspiration: Awesomely Bad or Just Plain Awesome Christmas Gifts

A Super Exciting Post About Yardage and Budgets

December is Gift-cember

Giving Thanks (Better Late than Never)

Mashed Potato Crafting

Pattern Spotlight: The Knitter’s Handy Book of Top-Down Sweaters

Inspiration: The League

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