Slouchy Hipster Hat

Freaking hipsters.  Here in Seattle, they’re everywhere.  With their smug attitudes and their fixed-gear bicycles, and their super skinny jeans.  And suddenly, it’s cool to have gigantic glasses?  For real.  The poor kids who have perfect vision are actually wearing glasses frames without lenses because they think they look cool.  How weird is that?

Admittedly, if I really wanted to get away from hipsters, I could a.) not live in Seattle, b.) not play roller derby, c.) not hang out in brew-pubs and independent coffee shops or, or d.) all of the above.  But I like doing all of those things.

Actually… I think I might be a hipster.  Oh shit!

I like eating from food trucks, and think “organic” is pretty swell.  I wear cardigans and scarves, and my idea of a nice afternoon is one spent blogging from my local coffee shop.

God, that’s depressing.

But, I suppose, if you have to do a thing, you might as well go all-in.

So, fine! I give in!  Here’s a slouchy, hipster hat.  It’s knit with pretty fine yarn on largeish needles to give it a plenty of floppiness.  Deal with it.

(I even tried to make instagram-ish photos for this pattern, because why not.  Don’t laugh too hard.)





1 skein sock or fingering weight yarn.  (I’m using Dale of Norway’s Baby Ull in color 9436)

Size 5  16″ circular needle (or size to get gauge)

Size 7 16″ circular needle (or size to get gauge)

Size 7 double-pointed needles (or size to get gauge)

Scissors and Tapestry needle


Size 5: 6.5 stitches/inch in stockinet stitch

Size 7: 5.5 stitches/inch in stockinet stitch


Women’s Small(Women’s Large)

Shown in size Large


  • Using your size 5 circular needle, cast on 120(136) stitches.  Mark the beginning of your row.  Work in the round, in a k2p2 rib for 2 inches.
  • Change to size 7 circular needle, and knit in stockinet stitch (knit all rows), until the piece measures 7(7.5) inches from the edge.
  • Work crown decreases as follows:

1.  [k6, k2tog] around
2. & 3. Knit
4. [k5, k2tog] around
5. Knit
6.[k4, k2tog] around
7. Knit
8. [k3, k2tog] around
9. Knit
10. [k2, k2tog] around
11. [k1, k2tog] around
12. [k2tog] around

  • Cut yarn, leaving a longish tail.  Draw the yarn through the loops at the crown of the hat to close up.  Sew in ends.
  • Put on hat and jump on your fixie to go down to the coffee shop for a nice organic matcha green tea latte with soy and a vegan cupcake.


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